Pants 0. Shit 1.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize