He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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