hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
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What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
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She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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