3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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