so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
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Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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