I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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