You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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