i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Michael Bay diarrhea
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Sext me about skeletons
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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