did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize