What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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