He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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