Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
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I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The adults are the big ones right?
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