When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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