if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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