I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
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threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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