Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize