Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize