im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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