Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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