I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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