i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
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He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
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Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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