Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize