I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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