handjob tips. give me some.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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