After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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