dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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