If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize