break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize