the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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