I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize