Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize