thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize