All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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