This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize