New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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