Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
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Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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