I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my being single is dangerous.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize