I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There's always time for handjobs
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize