drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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