Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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