I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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