We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I woke up under a house in Key West
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