I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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