Whod you bang
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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