that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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