Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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