I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize