I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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