If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize