wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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